Wisdom mentoring is something that I began working with in 2020. Having completed a 2 year wisdom program in 2017, I found myself working to incorporate the teachings and principles I had learned from The Living School into my ordinary, daily lived life. We call this “the work of integration”. Though this is the work of a lifetime, it can certainly be accelerated when done within the context of specific kinds of open hearted, shared community.
Through Divine Providence, I would eventually be lead to my wisdom mentor, a retired Episcopalian priest and wisdom teacher, William Redfield. You can read more about him and his work here: https://www.williamredfield.com/. Bill was offering something unique that he called wisdom mentoring. I was intrigued and contacted him to begin a formal wisdom mentoring relationship. Over the course of our extended relationship, I began to see how deeply meaningful and effective this mentoring process was becoming in my life. And for his part, Bill sensed in me someone who was ripe to learn this process of mentoring others in the way of what he simply calls “the wisdom way of loving”. To that end, he has worked with me and a handful of others to develop within each of us, the capacity to mentor others in this unique way. With his encouragement and unstinting support, I am stepping out and now offering wisdom mentoring as well as spiritual direction to those who may be interested in either discipline.
Here is a description of wisdom mentoring from Bill’s website. I include it here with his permission:
“More than fine tuning life skills, the work of wisdom mentoring aims at profound transformation—from the inside out. And the transformation at the heart of this work promises to touch all aspects of a person’s life.
While one might be initially drawn to the Wisdom principles through books, through presentations, or even by attending a Wisdom School, actively weaving these deeper understandings into one’s life is a more subtle and complex matter. The principle work of Wisdom Mentoring, then, is integration, and it is directed at expressing the unitive principles of Wisdom in the particularities of a unique life.
Sometimes the transformation of Wisdom work can be misinterpreted as leaving the ordinary life with its everyday consciousness behind. But this is not true. We never leave our ordinary self completely behind. Rather, the higher levels of awareness, having been experienced through spiritual practice, must be integrated into the structures of the self. We utilize the experiences and understandings of everyday life in order to do this. This is explicitly how we can move from a temporary state to an enduring structure. The crucial work of integration is often undervalued in this movement or overlooked altogether.”
What’s the difference between wisdom mentoring and spiritual direction?
I’m so glad you asked that question, because this is something that those of us who have worked with Bill as wisdom mentees have worked hard to articulate. Several of us are spiritual directors and coaches already and yet we have all found so much value in Bill’s unique process. Which raised the question “how is this different from what I’m already doing?” So let me share from my perspective as a spiritual director how wisdom mentoring is different.
Spiritual direction tends to be a fairly delineated process in terms of the work of the director. Directors are to practice 3 way listening, question carefully and only when needed, we are generally encouraged not to share too much from our own personal journeys, and we are always encouraged to work to bring the conversation back to the direct relationship between God and the directee. Spiritual directors are also encouraged not to communicate with directees in between sessions if possible, as the belief is that it is God’s job to tend to the directee in the space between visits, rather than the director’s. This has the effect of creating some rather strong boundaries.
Wisdom mentoring is a more fluid process. It might be thought of as containing elements of coaching, spiritual direction, teaching, and counseling, and yet it is more than any one of these things. Wisdom mentors are also listening carefully for the voice of the Spirit in their work, but there is more freedom to respond to that Voice by incorporating different disciplines as needed to address what is transpiring in the life of the mentee. In many ways, wisdom mentoring tends to be a bit more “hands on” and involves more mutual reciprocity than spiritual direction. The relationship I have with my wisdom mentor is extremely relational. It is the deepest of sacred friendships, thoroughly grounded in mutual love and respect. In wisdom mentoring, both parties grow and change as a result of the container they create together. What emerges in the space is often something that feels like a new arising for both parties.
How do I know if I’m ready for Wisdom mentoring?
Ideally, people who are ready for wisdom mentoring have been grounded in the wisdom tradition and have been working with the integration of wisdom principles in their lives. People who have reached this stage are generally at the place in their spiritual journey where they are seeking nothing less than complete transformation of their lives so that they can be “poured out as an offering” to the world. Transformation is never a personal piety project; it is always for the sake of the world. If you are standing at this threshold in your life, then wisdom mentoring may be just what you need to help discern your next steps.
What if I’m better suited to spiritual direction?
No problem. This isn’t a matter of one thing being better than the other. They are just different. An apple and an orange are both fruits that will nourish the body. Spiritual direction and wisdom mentoring are both designed to help people with the work of spiritual transformation; the approach is just different. For me personally after spending years myself in spiritual direction as a directee, the addition of wisdom mentoring was something that felt like a natural transition and I have been so delighted with the changes that are unfolding in my life as a result. Generally speaking, if you are still in the throes of wrestling with your beliefs, uncertain about who God is to you, deconstructing from a very rigid faith tradition, still working at resolving past religious trauma issues, or are very new in your faith journey, spiritual direction is probably where you want and need to be. Conversely, if you have come to a place of spaciousness and freedom in your relationship with God, if the trust issues within your divine relationship are largely resolved, if you are already beginning to think about how you can pour your life out as an offering to a hurting world, wisdom mentoring may be the next logical step for you.
What does it cost?
The wisdom mentoring I am offering will be offered at a flat rate rather than on a sliding scale, and those who wish to engage in the process are asked to commit to it once a month for at least a year. This process involves deep, committed soul work and the time commitment and flat fee rate reflect this, and to some extent are designed to discourage casual inquirers who might just be curious about trying “the next interesting thing” in soul care. That said, for those who sense a deep calling to wisdom mentoring but who feel that they simply cannot afford the monthly honorarium rate, this can be worked out on a case by case basis. It is not my intention to ever turn any serious seekers away for want of financial means. Instead, my intention is to offer the very best that I have to give to all who come to me for either spiritual direction or wisdom mentoring. It’s simply a matter of tailoring my practice to the specific needs and desires of those who come here to assist with their growth and transformation process.